


Pitter Patter as The Rain Goes

by FlightlessAngels



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-19 18:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16540238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightlessAngels/pseuds/FlightlessAngels
Summary: A collection of drabbles by yours truly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This kind of a place where I dump perhaps short scenes and plots that come up my mind. Just a place where I might go back and write a whole story based on it. We'll see.

The clouds rolled like waves, reminding him of the bubbles popping beneath his feet when they dampen the shore. Blinded by the white rays, he shield his eyes away from them, seeking the tree’s shadow as he made himself comfortable against the hard trunk. 

He could hear the clinking glass, the quiet chatter as the party was not far from he was. Refusing to walk back and meet people of which his parents forced him to, he decided the solace surrounding him was much a better company than the greedy eyes that stripped him bare. He could picture his father’s face turning crimson when he realized his one and only trophy took off, plastering a tight smile for the guests as he waited patiently for the sun to set. 

Gripping the glass between his fingers, he swirled the dark alcohol slowly, wondering why they are drinking so early. His mother had warned him not to ruin his clothes after past events where he would purposely run into people just so he would have an excuse to be in his room. He brought the glass to his mouth, the stinging citrus smell caught had him narrow his eyes, regretting his choice when he tried to take a sip of it. Clearly, it did not matter how old the wine as what his father boasted, the taste was horrendous according to his tongue.

Sighing, he poured the rest of the drink onto the grass, oblivious of his new company. 

“You shouldn't waste, hyung. You know how much uncle despises when you throw away the wine.”

Hearing the new voice had the ends of his lips to curl. Tilting back his head, he smiled wider as the sight of the dark orange rays painted against the pale skin. The soft breeze hummed as they locked their eyes and after a minute, the elder scooted a bit as he made space for the other to sit.

“Fancy seeing you here, Jaehyun. Didn’t think you’d come to this boring party.” He stretched his legs till the furthest they could get, sighing in content when he felt his muscles relax.

“You know I was dragged to come. Why would I waste my time here when I could stay in my room with my books.”

The elder scoffed, playfully shoving the other till the latter was lying to his side. When he did not sit up, he tried to pour the last bit of wine left in his glass. Yet to his dismay, Jaehyun’s body mechanism was faster than his for the glass was thrown to the other side, fortunately not broken. 

“Books, books, and books. What’s there to live when you can’t write your own story?”

“Isn’t it ironic, coming from you, Taeyong hyung?”

Said male clenched his fists. He had his eyes settled on the neatly cut grass and the trees that stretched metres high up. There was a slight burn in his chest but he tried to ignore it. There was no use in arguing with the other when he knew that in the end he would be the one losing.

The clouds rolled slowly against the mixture of purple and orange hue. It reminded him of the ocean, the ones that his sister used to bring him to. The ripples of the water as he sank his legs, the shy kisses peppered on his face as a sign of greeting from the gentle wind and the swaying of his body as he danced along with the waves. It was as if the memories of his younger self with his sister happened yesterday. If only he was trapped in that moment with the accompany sounds of the crashing waves, though it was all a luxury that he couldn’t achieve. Not even with his father’s wealth.

Jaehyun’s soft humming had him broken out of his trance, blinking as he felt a hand laying on top of his own clenched ones. He allowed the fingers to be weaved against his, noting how the warm touch soothed him. Having a little courage, he leaned his head on the younger’s shoulder, closing his eyes as his head was wrapped around the soft tunes.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” Jaehyun started after a moment he stopped humming. “It was mean of me to say such things.”

Taeyong pulled back his head, resting his back against the tree while their hands still locked together. Slowly, he shook his head as he looked down his lap. 

 

“Don’t apologise. It’s mostly true anyways.” He let out a hollow laugh before continuing. “Father really can’t resist it. Despite of what happened to sister, he still wants me to marry with some girl from a family that has wealth worth more than the bloody royals from England.”

“You know that I’m in the same position as you too.”

“Yes, but your parents give you a choice for who you want to marry, Jaehyun. They want you to marry a nice girl from a nice family, yes, but at the very least they let you choose who it is.” He threw his gaze to the side as he tried to swallow the lump clogging his throat. “My story was written from the start. It was all planned out without my own will.”

“And what if I say that I don’t want to get married to a girl?”

The elder’s eyebrows furrowed, not following the question that Jaehyun had just asked. 

“What--”

“What if I said I wanted to marry you, hyung?”


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m tired, Jaehyun.”

The said boy tore his gaze away from the scenery before them settled on the other. He was surprised when Taeyong talked, usually he was the first one to initiate a conversation. The wind gently blew by them, weaving their way through the dark locks, sweeping back a few strands of hair from their foreheads.

It was undeniable how it struck Jaehyun for a moment as he watched Taeyong closed his eyes, letting his eyelashes to fan out and the soft rays of sunset casted on his skin to create soft shadows, defining his features even more. The air between them was filled by the quiet hum of the mountains; the sky slowly retiring from their duty for the day before the stars took their places for the night. Even so, Jaehyun could feel the heavy mind of the other despite their lips sealed. 

“Why are you tired, hyung?”

He didn’t dare to look when Taeyong turned to him. He knew better than to look in those dark pools.

“I’m tired of this. I’m tired of living.” He whispered.

“Wh-- why do you say so? Living is beautiful. Life is beautiful.”

“Tell me something, Jung. Why do we even live?”

There was a drop in his stomach when the question slipped passed the other’s lips. From the weeks they had spent together, he knew that Taeyong wasn’t particularly the happiest person, he took knowledge of the empty stares he had whenever they talked, he knew it. He knew from the air that the elder carried was colder than what he was used to, different than the ones he felt when he sat by his parents or his circle of friends. 

Taeyong was different from everyone, from the very beginning, he knew. Perhaps that was the reason why he was so drawn by him. The mind that carried the person, the thoughts that ran through his head, the secrets that lied within, and the past that the elder could never forget. It was those that had Jaehyun toppled down and tried to work his way up to those walls. He wanted to learn of this person that had so much to think, yet so little to speak. 

He took a deep breath, calculating his steps before giving the answer to the question left hung in the air. He didn’t want Taeyong to turn his back and leave, he didn’t him to hide within those walls. 

“I... don’t know,” He tried to drown his drumming heartbeat when he saw the other’s shoulders sink. “But I guess that’s why we live. To find a purpose, a reason for us to see what we can make do with the time we are left with.”

“Isn’t it funny though?” The elder snorted, pulling his dark jacket tighter around his small body. “That we were engaged with death the very moment we were born. We live to die, isn’t that how the cycle works?”

They sat there in silence, leaving the question hanging in the air with a thin string attached to it. Jaehyun tried to find words to form, to find answers that may help the other to believe that everything has its purpose, even life. For what it was worth it, Taeyong may not live the life he had, he didn’t experienced whatever pretty memories that Jaehyun stapled against his walls. But he knows despite so, the value within the elder was much more than what he believes.

It was darker and the streetlamps were blinking as they were turned on. The blade of light finally shut its eyes as the navy sky swallowed them whole, speckles of white dusted against the dark, like the paintings Jaehyun used to do when he was a small boy. The temperature dropped lower and he could see that Taeyong was shivering slightly. With the little confidence that was left in his body, he took the other’s hands, trying to warm up as he breathed out warm breath onto the dry skin.

They walked back to Taeyong’s place when the elder finally picked up some warmth from short care. It was colder than the usual for they could see their breathes, forming condensation as they inhaled and exhaled the evening’s air. When they reached the stone stairs leading to the old traditional house, the elder walked up without looking back.

Jaehyun watched his back until the former’s hand reached the circular metal rings. He thought he lost his sanity, and maybe he was, and with no constraint from his mind, his mouth spoke the words before he could stop himself.

“You know, whenever I have doubt about the world, I always try to find the beauty that’s left for me to see. So that I feel like it’s worth it, everything’s worth it if I do so.”

“And what beauty do you see in this world, Jaehyun?” He asked with his back still displayed to the other.

“You. One of the beauties I see that’s left is you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This particular draft has been lying in my docs for a while. Would love to finish it when I have the time.
> 
> Warning: There's no jaeyong in this one. Just thought of sharing it and have some feedbacks from you guys.

“In visions of the dark night 

I have dreamed of joy departed— 

But a waking dream of life and light 

Hath left me broken-hearted.”

 

It always started with black and accompanying it was the ringing bells of laughter. He never knew where he was or what he was doing but all he could remember was the warmth seeping in deep within his skin and the lightness of his chest as he took in every breath. He would smell the scent of roses and lavenders mixing together and listen as the trees' leaves rustle against each other.   
  
He never quite remember anything, it was all fragments of memories scattered across his head. The blue sky, the waves crashing against the sand or the stars hung so far for him to reach. They looked familiar as he traced them back with each step in the path of memory lane, but what he did remember out of all the pieces laid within his mind was the figure sitting with legs stretched out, a book lying beside and a serene smile painted on the pink lips.   
  
And then he woke up.   
  
  
  
"Taeyong."   
  
The petite lean man turned his head to the door, finding his co-worker standing with hip resting against the frame of the door. His arms were crossed. Taeyong watched him for a second before he focused back on the dirty dishes in the sink. The rubber gloves he wore kept squeaking as it continuously rubbed against a particular spot on the metal tray.   
  
A bit annoyed being disregarded by his colleague, the tall man strutted his way to stand beside Taeyong. His hand reached out and turned off the tap before he took the small wrist - wet gloves be damned and gently told him to sit on a chair. He could see a protest was ready to slip out through the chapped lips but he beat the latter to it.   
  
"Sit. I'll do the rest."   
  
"I can do it, Johnny." He insisted yet still let Johnny pulled the gloves off his hands.   
  
"I know you can, but your eye bags say otherwise."   
  
That had Taeyong locked his mouth, eyes avoiding the firm look Johnny gave him. He played with his fingers, letting the clatter of washed dishes being placed in the rack and Johnny’s soft humming filled the room. His vision then fell on the windows and he could see the dark clouds piling up the sky accompanied with the sound of soft rumbles of thunder. They're going home late today, Taeyong noted.   
  
"Did you visit him?"    
  
The sudden question had him tore his sight back to Johnny who was leaning against the edge of the sink, trays neatly placed on the rack, plastic mugs lining up parallel to them. It took the brunette a moment to process what Johnny just asked, mind clouded with errands that he needed to do along with lists of things they needed to do before heading back. He knew he was taking a while to answer but Johnny patiently waited for him. Johnny was always patient when it comes to Taeyong.   
  
Finally understood of who the former meant, he dipped his head down in shame. He felt his chest gave a guilty squeeze. What a bad person you are, Lee Taeyong, his mind whispered. He shook his head weakly, not daring to look at the taller in the eyes.    
  
"When are you going to visit him?" His tone was sterner. Taeyong wanted to ball himself up. He didn't answer.   
  
Sighing, Johnny pulled another chair to sit in front of him. He watched as Taeyong flinched at the sound of the wood being scraped together and felt a bit bad for scaring the small guy. It wasn't his fault, Johnny reminded himself but he couldn't deny the slight burn when the other was not giving any positive answer to any of his questions. He patted the soft locks, how long had it been since they had the time and sat down.   
  
"Did you sleep?" At that, Taeyong tipped his head.   
  
"I- I barely had ever since," he stopped and swallowed down the lump. "Ever since- you know. It's not fair for him." He finished off.   
  
"Taeyong, you need to stop torturing yourself. How long had it been since you last sleep?"

Johnny was gripping his shoulder at this point and Taeyong couldn't even tell the truth because in all honesty, he too didn't know how long he had not gotten any shut eye. Days? Perhaps weeks? He didn't know. All he knew was that his bones creaked like old doors begging to be oiled, his mind was fled like birds searching for their nests and he was tired - so tired but he couldn't take a rest. He had documents that needed to be reviewed and read, he had children that needed to be taken care of. And he had guilt tied around his neck, chaining him with a constant reminder why all of this had happened.   
  
"I don't know. I can't remember." He mumbled quietly, vision blurry and veins pounding.   
  
Johnny's eyebrows furrowed, watching his friend looking lost, fatigue laminating his orbs as he brought one of his knees to his chest. Taeyong had a lot of burden carried on his back and Johnny would have offered him help, hell, both of them knew that the American would do anything just to see his friends smile again. But this was Taeyong. Taeyong who wouldn't dare ask for help, Taeyong that was as stubborn as a mule.    
  
The droplets finally fell when they cleaned up the classroom; chairs and tables arranged where they needed to be, toys kept in the labelled boxes and stationery stored in the colourful drawers. The floor was swept and vacuumed by the older teachers that had left earlier, claiming they needed to run errands for their own household which left Taeyong, Johnny and a few other female teachers at the nursery.    
  
When the last child was picked up by their parent, bidding Taeyong goodbye with a bow and thanked him, the other female teachers took their leave as they were shooed by Johnny. One of them offered to help a bit more but Johnny told her it was fine, since it was late and it would be dangerous for her to leave later. Taeyong saw the pink dusted on the woman's cheek, meekly agreeing to Johnny and went to pack her bags. The tall lad was a gentleman, what more could Taeyong say.   
  
"Want me to drive you home?" The keys for the nursery jiggled as Johnny shoved them inside his black sling bag. The thought of not having to walk back to the apartment was tempting but Taeyong declined his offer.    
  
"Are you sure?"    
  
"Yeah, I need to drop by the mart and buy some stuff anyways."    
  
Johnny was quiet, contemplating for a moment before he shrugged and patted the brunette's head.    
  
"If you say so, buddy. If you need anything, just call me or Ten. Okay?" When he got a smile and a nod as answer, Johnny mirrored the slight curl on the lips. There was an elephant in the air as they walked to the parking lot, apart from the pitter patter of the rain softly drumming against their shared umbrella. They both knew the additional company but Johnny thought it was better to discuss it another time.   
  
"Taeyong?" He called out when his window was rolled down and Taeyong a few steps away from the small silver car.   
  
The man hummed, waiting for Johnny to continue. "While you're at the town, try and drop by the pharmacy. Ask them if they can help with your insomnia."   
  
"It's not insomnia, Johnny."   
  
"You haven't sleep in weeks, buddy. Don't tell me that's not insomnia."   
  
Taeyong watched as the car pulled out of the parking lot, waving his hand as he watched the vehicle slowly getting smaller and smaller until it made a turn and left his sight. It was still raining and he felt the cold biting his skin. Taeyong only wore a long sleeve beige sweater and it didn't help him much with the weather. Without wasting time, he made a list in his head of what he needed to buy at the mart with his legs marching into the chilly wet evening. Johnny's last words still rang in his mind and he decided that maybe a little visit to the pharmacy wouldn't be much of a trouble. 

 

The pitter patter became a full blown heavy rain as soon as he stepped into the dimly lit drugstore. A few cars rolled past him, Taeyong barely had enough time to avoid the upcoming splash of the spraying puddle, causing his shoes and the ends of his pants to be wet. On normal days, he would have let a loud curse and give a little gift to the drivers - in other words, his middle fingers, but he was tired and annoyed. So with the last bit of sanity left in him, he dragged his body and groceries through the glassed door.  
  
Taeyong never really went to any pharmacies, usually he had stocks of medicine ready to use in the first aid box. Being a teacher at a nursery and a part-time proofreader never got him much trouble in terms of health, only a few fever and migraine here and there but that was pretty much it. And the only pharmacy he had been to was the one near the apartment but since he was already in town, he might as well try the ones here for a change.   
  
The store was a bit old, with the ceiling looked worn and outdated. The surroundings were clean, as expected from a drugstore but Taeyong couldn't shake off the eerie feeling of the place giving him. There was something about this place that rubbed him in all the wrong places. It was already late and he didn't want to spend any more time on the stabbing feeling of fear. Might as well get everything done faster and head home, he thought.   
  
There was a young man standing behind the counter, a white coat covering his body and a black t-shirt underneath it. He had raven hair; Taeyong cringed at the state of it. If he were to have a comb, he would have smoothened the midnight strands so the man didn't look much like an evil doctor. He had a bored look plastered on his face, ears plugged with white earphones and Taeyong assumed he must have not heard the teacher's presence for he didn't greet when Taeyong walked in earlier.    
  
Fidgeting from one foot to another, he walked to the counter, not forgetting to place his wet umbrella near the entrance. The pharmacist was still engrossed to the screen of his phone and Taeyong had to knock on the white marble counter when the other still ignored him. The shock look the other man gave him was comical, eyes turning saucers while he almost dropped from the stool he sat on. But Taeyong was getting fidgety, he just wanted this to get done and over with.    
  
"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realise you came in." His voice was sweet and a bit loud; Taeyong noted how the other looked like a rabbit when he smiled with his teeth on display.    
  
"Maybe if you didn't wear the earphones then you'd hear me cursing at the rain."   
  
The worker gave a sheepish smile, a quiet 'sorry' was given but Taeyong shrugged it off. He was joking after all.    
  
"So, anything that I can help you with?"   
  
Taeyong's eyes wandered around the place. There were neverending white bottles filled up the spaces. The sterile smell of pills and herbs filled his senses. He felt a bit dizzy. Tightening his hold onto the groceries' plastic bag, he turned to look at the expectant gaze of the raven head. He sight fell on the nametag pinned on the white coat. A bold 'Doyoung' was stamped on it.    
  
"Yes, actually. I'm having trouble of sleeping these days." Taeyong said finally. He tried to smile but he knew it came off as an awkward one with the way Doyoung giving one back.   
  
"Okay, so what kind of 'trouble' are we talking about, Mr --"    
  
"Lee Taeyong. But please, just call me Taeyong. Well, I kind of haven't sleep for a few days now." Doyoung nodded, pulling up a pen and a notebook he hid under the counter.    
  
"How many days has it been since you last slept?"   
  
"Weeks. Two or three weeks, maybe. I'm not very sure." Doyoung nodded and wrote something in the notepad.   
  
"Have you ever been ill before, Taeyong-ssi? Any medical condition that you have before?"   
  
Taeyong paused for a moment and shook his head. The scratching of the pen on the paper continued for a moment.    
  
"Have you been stressed lately? Anything from that's been bothering you from your workplace or home?"

 

He stayed quiet, contemplating whether he should be truthful or not. But the penetrating gaze Doyoung gave him eventually made him slowly nodded.  
  
"Can you tell me that thing that made you stayed up at night?" He felt the walls closing in, his chest felt constricted. He shook his head.    
  
"I see."    
  
The raven haired trailed off. He looked back at the notes and back at Taeyong, observing him with his eyes, wide and alert. Taeyong shifted to the side and watched a particular spot near his feet. Maybe he shouldn't have taken Johnny's advice and just went home.   
  
Doyoung then shuffled to the shelves behind him, his fingers tracing the racks as he mumbled the names of the pills to himself. Taeyong tried to play with his phone, opening and closing some apps, eyelids getting heavy but his mind screamed that they were at a public place. It was not a place for him to rest.    
  
The weight of the plastic bag in his hand was getting heavier, he almost let go of it. But the sudden opening the door beside one of the shelves behind the counter startled him, causing him to grip the plastic harder.   
  
A boy, no more older than fourteen stood there with his shirt soaked and hair stuck flat on his forehead. He blinked at Taeyong, to which the other blinked confusedly as well before Doyoung screeched at the wet floor and the state of the boy.    
  
"Zhong Chenle! What the hell are you doing here and why are you wet? And for God's sake, I just mopped the floor this morning, you child!"    
  
The man skidded to the boy, pushing him back into the back room and there were a still trail of high pitch screech complains bled through the thin walls. Taeyong stood awkwardly there, regretting the decision of coming here. He was enticed with the idea of leaving but before he could take a step, Doyoung came back with his hair in much worse state and the sleeves of his coat were folded.   
  
"I'm sorry about that. He's the owner's son, loves to visit me here." Taeyong only nodded at the unnecessary statement and Doyoung pulled out a bottle and placed it between them.   
  
"I think this might help you." He said triumphantly.    
  
Taeyong took the bottle and read the description. His eyes furrowed, skeptical of it was a good idea but Doyoung kept firm with what he could offer.   
  
"Sleeping pills. You said you haven't slept for days and that's harmful to your health. Just take one pill before you sleep and you'll be knocked out in about five minutes. And don't worry, the pill lasts till seven - enough time for you to get a proper rest."    
  
With the explanation finished off with a small smile, the doubts flooding in his mind were slowly striked off one by one, leaving him to be convinced by Doyoung. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Considering the alternatives that he had been trying for the past couple of weeks, having a pill to let his mind shut off for the whole night might be a better option. Taeyong then agreed to it and the young pharmacist packed up his purchased and handed it to his customer.    
  
As he was about to leave, the boy from earlier - Chenle, he recalled, came through the door again with hair damp and wet clothes replaced with dried ones. Taeyong nodded at the boy, ready to leave with his umbrella halfway through the glass door when he heard the boy said, "I trust you'll be having a good night's sleep tonight, Taeyong-ssi."   
  
The young teacher was a bit taken aback but he only smiled and bid his goodbye.


End file.
